Bernice Averion (@bunnybernice) is a 23 year old Growth Marketer and Content Creator from Sydney with over 200k followers on Instagram. We asked her how she maintains a work/life balance and the importance of self confidence in her life. 

Tell us a bit about yourself

Hi I’m Bernice Averion, and I’m 23 years old, married to my partner of 9 years, and building our first home! For work I’m a part time social media content creator, and a full time Growth Marketer for Koala.com which is a popular Australian furniture, and bedding company known for comfy products, cheeky ads, and proactive environmental campaigns. Pretty much I manage the affiliate program, referral program, influencer program, events, organic content strategy, promotional goods, and among other things is responsible for testing new channels, and managing them to maturity.

What is your dream travel destination?

I’m grateful to have been able to travel to 5/7 of the continents already. My dream destination was New York which I travelled to last year, and will visit again in 2020 just because I love that it’s always on so there’s always something interesting to do. Other than that I’d love to visit the Maldives!

What do you never leave home without when travelling?

Mozzie bite cream, and clear glasses! Firstly I hate mozzie bites so I like to quickly apply hydrocortisone cream so they don’t get itchy, or swell up. And because I have eyelash extensions I can’t rub my eyes so I use clear glasses when it’s windy so nothing goes into my eyes. My coworkers think my wind glasses (what I refer to them as ) are super weird of me but hey, it works!

What role does self love play in your life?

2019 was definitely the year I focused more on myself as I think self love is vital for self growth, and enabling yourself to have loving relationships with those around you. To me, self love isn’t just bubble baths, but a whole way of life that encompasses what you digest, how you think, who you surround yourself with, how you treat yourself, and how you let others treat you. This year I ate healthier food, stopped checking up on toxic connections, spent more time with those who shared my values, invested more time in educating myself, started boxing+kickboxing which I really enjoy, go on daily runs to clear my head, and start+end each day by sharing with my husband something we learnt, something we can learn from, and something we’re grateful for from that day.

 Bernice in our Hali One-Piece Swimsuit in White Embroidery

How do you practice self care in your day to day?

I wake up at 5/5:30am to go for a run with my dog to clear my head, get ready for work then wake up my partner and talk to him about our plans that day while he gets ready.

Sleep is a big factor is your wellbeing so I practise polyphasic sleep which means I sleep multiple times a day. So I sleep for 1.5 hours going to work, the ride back, and then 12-5am to make up my required 8 hours of sleep.

Koala has a fully stocked, working kitchen which only stocks organic, Australian grown food so I make my lunch, and afternoon snack there.

Then when I get home I do boxing classes twice a week, kickboxing class twice a week, 20-40km runs each week, and then strength training with my husband twice a week. I used to hate going to the gym because what I was doing didn’t interest me so I’m grateful to be in a new environment, and to have found an exercise routine that I not only enjoy, but excites me.

What does body positivity mean to you?

Body positivity to me is accepting the uniqueness of who we are, and only seeking to change the things about us to be overall healthier, and not based on the perceived requirement of someone else’s validation. To put it more simply, I choose to love me, and will do things to better myself, for myself.

Bernice in our Hali One-Piece Swimsuit in White Embroidery

Have you always been body confident? If not, what insecurities did you overcome in order to feel confident?

I struggled a lot with body positivity growing up being a South-East Asian in a primarily caucasian school, and was picked on for being different.
 
I usually felt too dark skinned around my Asian friends, too Asian around my caucasian friends, too fat around my gym friends, too muscly around my social friends, and overall too weird. But the more I became reflective on what I liked about myself, and worked on myself just for myself, the more I loved, and accepted who I was as I was.
 
It’s like what Amy Poehler said,

“It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.” 

I had to learn that I wasn’t “too” anything. I just was that, and it was ok, and anyone who thought criticising someone not to better them but to reduce them as a person was just reflecting their own insecurities. Because happy people don’t try to make other people unhappy.
 
So I had to learn to switch what I was doing that was reducing me as a person to a way that grew me as a person. For example, I didn’t hate exercise. I didn’t like that form of exercise so I found something I enjoyed.

How does feeling confident in yourself impact your social/work life and how you interact with others?

Self confidence has allowed me to better take constructive criticism, and stand up for what I believe in. Koala actually invests money into our teams to help us grow as people, and to be a better team. 

For example when I asked for things I used to say “sorry, could you do this for me”. It’s now, “I need this completed by X time, because of Y reason, and it is important because of Z. If you have any questions, I’m happy to help you”. It teaches us to see the importance of everything we do no matter the perceived size of the task, and enables people to succeed by giving them a complete understanding of why they should also be an advocate for that task.

Who are some women in your life that inspire you to feel confident in your skin?

I think all women in my life are inspiring, and help me to feel confident with who I am. So the more I get older, the more I’m selective of my circle. I love being around such empowering, inspirational people who make me want to be better for myself, who congratulate achievements without whispering behind your back, compliment without a hidden agenda, give feedback to help not hurt, and lift you up because they want you to succeed to.

Are there any social media accounts that promote self love and body confidence that you would recommend following?

Yes! I love:

Inspiration; @leannemelody_ who is a childhood friend that posts beautiful content, and inspirational captions, and stories. I love taking her with me to events because she loves to learn, and is so enthusiastic for life.

Mindset; @mindset.therapy @mantramagazine, are great when you need a daily mental pump up.

Female Empowerment; @thefemalehustlers, @sheconquers,  @theleaguewomen, @femalecollective, and @girlsbuildingempires are great for women oriented motivation.

Self Care; @myselflovesupply, @_mindfullyfresh do amazing posts around daily selfceare, and mental health.

Lifestyle; @iamwellandgood does a lot of lifestyle self care, and nutritional help.

If you enjoyed this chat, make sure to check out our #EteLove blog with @healthysizeyou

We recently spoke with Bachelor contestant turned Instagram star Abbie Chatfield (@abbiechatfield) about self love, travel and how she deals with online trolls.

Tell us a little bit about yourself

I’m actually pretty boring! I’m from Brisbane but was born on the Gold Coast. I have a Bachelors Degree in Property Economics but have recently decided to change career paths. I’m currently looking into starting a Psychology degree, so fingers crossed.  My hobbies change regularly, but I have always loved Yoga and I try to work out as much as I can, but also treat myself very regularly.

What is your ultimate travel destination? 

I am dying to go to Mexico. So many of my friends have gone recently, and it just fits into my ideal holiday with the beach, drinking and eating! I also love Santorini, it’s probably my favourite place I have ever travelled to.

What do you never leave home without when travelling? 

I never leave home without lip balm! It’s such a basic answer but I have the driest lips on earth no matter how much water I drink, so I always have at least two lip balms on me.

At Ete we are proud supporters of body confidence and self love. What does body positivity mean to you? 

To me body positivity is being grateful for your body every day, but also acknowledging that you will have good and bad days when it comes to self image. I think it’s just about realising that your worth does not come from your body or from your looks, no matter how you look. It’s great to take pride in your appearance, and it is important to feel confident in yourself, but I think that true body positivity comes from realising that your place in the world isn’t defined by how you look.

Abbie in our Florina Bikini Top and Elena Cheeky Bikini Bottoms in White

Who are some women in your life that inspire you to feel confident in your skin? 

All of my closest friends are beautiful women, inside and out, who all look completely different. They all have different body shapes, styles and personality traits, but each of them is as confident and beautiful as the other. I think their continued support of each other reminds me that beauty can come in all forms, and as women we must continue to lift each other up.

Have you always been body confident? If not, what insecurities did you overcome to reach a place of self love?

Of course not. Growing up as a girl, you’re taught to believe that your value is based on your looks and because of that, I think we all struggle with how we look. I always felt bigger than the other girls, and was called “thunder thighs” in primary school. I struggled with my weight all throughout high school, never feeling entirely comfortable in my skin. As I got older, and started to understand that firstly, my body was beautiful regardless of what others thought, and secondly, that there were so many other things about me that made me who I am.

What is your advice to women who struggle with body confidence?   

I think most people have issues with confidence that stems from fear of what others think. I think a huge thing to remember is that most people aren’t focussing on how others look, and if they are, they have some deep issues within themselves. As the old saying goes, “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!”

Abbie in our Mia Bikini Top and Sophia Bikini Bottoms in Lilac Floral

How do you deal with negative comments, in particular those that criticise your appearance?

It’s really hard to navigate negative comments about my appearance, particularly when I was thrust into the limelight virtually overnight. I went from having no one ever comment on my appearance, except for my girlfriends hyping me up, to then people commenting on everything I posted, whether good or bad. It’s difficult to not let the negative comment change how you view yourself, but I try to remind myself that how others view me is not how I must view myself. If I were to go through life taking on board negative comments and letting them wear me down, then I would be letting those people win. I also tend to call people out for particularly horrendous comments because I think if I don’t speak up, these people will continue to think that what they are doing is okay and will continue to hurt people who may not be able to handle it.   

What role do you think the media should play in promoting body confidence? 

I think the media has a huge part to play in body confidence. We are taught as women that our value comes from how we look, and the media supports this notion. While social media can be detrimental to body confidence movements, with so much editing on Instagram, I think as time goes on, social media is being used for good. It’s becoming cool to be real, and it creates a domino effect, encouraging more and more people to post unedited photos on their socials. Accounts like @i_weigh and @ariellanyssa are great for the body positivity movement and are (hopefully) indicative of a shift in how we use social media.

Abbie in our Florina Bikini Top and Elena Cheeky Bikini Bottoms in White

How important is it for you to be authentic online? 

It’s extremely important for me to be authentic online, though sometimes I do find it difficult. I don’t edit my photos anymore, but sometimes I have to admit I am tempted. We see so many photos online that are edited that when we see a photo that is unedited, it can be quite jarring. I often struggle with self image, but I remind myself that if I keep posting photos that aren’t authentic, then I am not only hurting others, but also myself.

Are there any body positive Instagram accounts you would recommend following? 

Absolutely! There are heaps but my favourites are @i_weigh @ariellanyssa @paris.jacobson @katewas_  and @karinairby

How do you practice self love and self care in your daily life?

I try to practice self love and self care by doing things in moderation. For example, I exercise around 4 days a week, because it makes me feel good, but I also try to not hate myself if one week it’s only 2 days. I treat myself to food when I feel like it, but also try to be mindful about what I am eating. When I am eating poorly and not exercising it’s usually indicative of something mental happening, whether it’s stress or anxiety.

I think it’s important to have balance, and to not be too hard on ourselves. I guess I’d rather be a few kg happier and be able to have a sleep in on a Saturday, miss gym and go and have pasta for lunch than be a little bit smaller and stress about what I am eating all the time.

How can women encourage each other to love their bodies?

Lift each other up! Compliment your friends, family, colleagues, strangers even. I think that’s the main thing. Try to be as kind as often as you can.

Abbie in our Sophia Bikini Bottoms and Mia Bikini Top in Lilac Floral

Follow Abbie’s journey on Instagram @abbiechatfield.

If you enjoyed this Q&A make sure to check out our chat with @maya_gypsy!